How to Stay Calm Around Food and Family This Holiday Season: Anti-Diet Tips for Peace and Body Trust
By Katherine Metzelaar, MSN, RDN
It’s officially the start of the season when many holidays are centered around food.
And while I wish that holidays were always rooted in joy, pleasure, and celebration, what often happens instead is that the people you share meals with express their anxiety and fear about food, sometimes without even realizing it. And for anyone working on healing their relationship with food, this can be incredibly hard.
People often make offhanded comments, not with the intention to harm, but with real impact. And when you’re in recovery from dieting, disordered eating, an eating disorder, or body image struggles, those moments can sting.
Common Comments You Might Hear at Holiday Meals
You might notice remarks like:
“I’ve been fasting all day so I can eat tonight.”
“I’m being so bad for having another cookie.”
“I’ll just work this off at the gym tomorrow.”
“Are you really going to eat that?”
Or even subtle comments about what’s on your plate, what’s on their plate, or how their body has changed.
These types of statements can be triggering, especially when you’re doing the brave, slow work of creating peace with food.
Preparing for the Holidays: Five Anti-Diet Tips for Food Peace
Below are some gentle, practical ways to protect your energy and stay connected to your healing this season with you’re around family or friends:
1. Anticipate That You’ll Feel Activated and That’s Okay
It’s not if someone will say something diet-related, it’s when. Setting realistic expectations can help you feel more grounded.
Before family gatherings, take a few moments to reflect on what comments might come up and plan how you’ll respond (or disengage) when they do.
2. Eat Regularly (Even on Big Meal Days)
Skipping meals to “save up” for a big holiday dinner only increases hunger, anxiety, and reactivity around food.
Instead, nourish yourself consistently with breakfast, snacks, and lunch, just like any other day.
This is one of the most powerful ways you can care for your body and reduce the restrict-binge cycle during the holidays.
3. Remember That Other People’s Comments Are About Them, Not You
When someone talks about how “bad” they’ve been with food or how much they’ll “need to work off” dessert, it reflects their relationship with food, not yours.
Try to remind yourself: their comments are about their conditioning, not your worth.
4. Recruit a Buddy for Support
Doing this work alone is hard.Reach out to someone you trust and ask them to be your “holiday recovery buddy.”
You might:
Plan to have a virtual meal together.
Send each other grounding texts a few times a week.
Schedule a short call once a week to check in.
Knowing you’re not alone makes all the difference.
5. Prioritize Rest and Permission to Do Less
The holidays are full of pressure to attend events, buy gifts, and meet others’ expectations.
But you deserve rest, too.
Block off time to unplug, lie down, or watch a show that makes you laugh. Rest is not a reward; it’s a right.
Progress, Not Perfection
Preparing for the holidays doesn’t mean you’ll do it perfectly, and that’s okay. Family interactions around food can be really hard even if you have a good relationship with them.
Taking even a few moments to sit with a warm drink and jot down what helps you feel safe and nourished is an act of care. It’s a way of saying to yourself: My needs matter, too.
Post-Holiday Reflection Prompts
Now that Thanksgiving has passed (or any big gathering), take time to gently reflect on these questions:
What things went well?
What felt difficult or painful?
How can I show myself compassion for the choices I made?
If my body could speak to me right now, what would it say?
Were there any moments where I felt connected to my body or present with my food?
When did I feel most relaxed or joyful during the meal or gathering?
Did I notice any old food rules or judgments showing up? How did I respond?
What helped me feel grounded when diet talk or body comments came up?
What did I need that I didn’t get? How might I give that to myself now?
Did I honor my hunger and fullness cues as best I could?
How did my body feel before, during, and after the meal?
What can I remind myself of before the next holiday or social event?
There’s no perfect way to navigate the holidays, only small, intentional ways to stay connected to yourself.
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Author bio: Katherine Metzelaar, RDN, CD, is an anti-diet registered dietitian and founder of Bravespace Nutrition. She helps people heal their relationship with food and body image, overcome diet culture pressures, and cultivate a compassionate, non-diet approach to eating and self-care. Katherine empowers her clients to trust their bodies, enjoy food without shame, and experience freedom from restrictive dieting.
Ready to Feel Calmer Around Food and More Grounded This Holiday Season?
The holidays can bring up a lot around food, body image, and old patterns. In her Seattle-based nutrition counseling practice, anti-diet dietitian Katherine Metzelaar, MSN, RDN helps people navigate food anxiety and body image struggles through a compassionate, non-diet approach. She offers virtual sessions for clients across the U.S. and teaches You’re Not Broken, an online body image course designed to help women rebuild body trust and experience more peace in their bodies. Learn more through the blog, explore the FAQ, or get in touch to begin.