The Restrict-Binge-Shame Cycle: 3 Ways To Stop Binge Eating

By Katherine Metzelaar, MSN, RDN, CD

Broken crackers falling out of a container on the floor. This is what the aftermath of bingeing on food can look and feel like and learning how to stop bingeing is possible or you by working with a caring therapist at Bravespace Nutrition in Seattle…

You may feel stuck in a cycle with food that just keeps repeating itself, but you cannot get out of it.

Almost every time it starts with the idea that you are going to be “good” or “start today” or “not eat more of X” and you feel better instantly. Even the thought leaves you feeling energized. You think to yourself that this time it’s going to be different, you are going to do food and eating right! 

And this lasts for a certain period of time. Sometimes for a half a day and other times months. You find yourself choosing the salad, skipping on the bread, opting for the water and feeling like this “lifestyle change” is going to happen this time. Then inevitably, you start to get tired of the food. It doesn’t taste so good and you get sad eating out and not being able to have the food you want or that others are eating. You get tired of eating the scraps of your kid’s chicken nuggets, and you get tired of saying “no” to the fries when you are out with friends.

So you continue to eat the foods that you have told yourself you are “supposed” to eat. But then one day, you decide to eat the forbidden foods that you have been told aren’t “healthy” or will make you gain weight. And you eat them in a way that feels like you can’t stop. You feel out of control. You eat the foods that you have been depriving yourself of, sometimes to the point of discomfort. Sometimes it feels like you can’t stop.

The Restrict-Binge-Shame- Cycle and How It Causes Binge Eating


The above experience is a common example of being stuck in the binge-restrict-shame cycle. This is a cycle by which you first start restricting your food intake. This can be specific foods or food groups and can last for an undetermined amount of time. But, this is unsustainable which leads you right into a binge. 

While you are bingeing it may feel good, but it’s usually temporary. As soon as you finish, feelings of guilt and shame come pouring in. You ask yourself questions like, “How could I have eaten so much? Why couldn't I stop? What’s wrong with me?” It feels confusing and very distressing. You promise yourself that this will be the last time. You throw foods away, you hide foods, you tell your partner to put away foods and you double down. 

Feelings of guilt and shame about the binge eating can leave you feeling really afraid. As you are planning your next diet, you might notice mal-adptive ways of coping with the overwhelm that you are feeling. Examples of this can be more bingeing, exercise, purging, and body checking. This then leads right back into restriction and the cycle repeats itself.

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Binge restrict shame cycyle

How Do You Stop Binge Eating?

Binge eating is defined as the experience of eating large quantities of food in a short period of time to the point of discomfort. This can involve eating past signs of nausea, pain in the stomach, and uncomfortable fullness. In order for binge eating to take place one doesn’t need to feel hungry. 

The experience of binge eating doesn’t mean that you lack control or that you are not a worthy person because you experience binge eating. Remember that binge eating is a symptom of things that are occurring for you and not a cause. People in all size bodies experience binge eating.


  1. Stop Restricting Your Food Intake In Thought Or In Action 

    Restricting your food intake will set you up for binge eating. What’s important to know is that this can be in thought OR action. For example, restricting food in action would be not bringing certain foods into the house and not eating certain foods. Restricting food in thought is eating a food that you deem to be forbidden, and while you are eating saying things to yourself like “I shouldn’t be having this, this is so bad for me, I am only going to have one bite/one scoop/one serving, etc.” Not restricting your food intake means that you will need to start eating enough throughout the day, not go long periods of time without eating and make sure that you are getting enough grain-based carbs, fat and protein.


  2. Ditch The Diet Mentality

    Dieting and diet cycling set you up for things like weight cycling and disordered eating. Not only this, after you finish a diet you’re often left with food rules that still feel true and important to you. This carries with you into the next diet and then the next diet until no foods are safe anymore and you feel a lot of confusion around food. You get to the point where the feeling of guilt is constantly following you. Ditching the diet mentality doesn’t only mean letting go of dieting, but it also invites you to really change the way you think about food and bodies.


  3. Make Friends With Your Nervous System

    While it’s essential to address eating consistently and eating enough to decrease the experience of binge eating, it’s also important to dig deeper into  your history of binge eating. For many people, binge eating started as a way to cope with really overwhelming emotions and experiences in their life. This is because the binge eating experience usually provided some sense of numbing out or distraction. It also may have been a way for you to get your needs met. Making friends with your nervous system can look like working with a practitioner that will help you to connect the dots with binge eating and what’s going on with your nervous system, and engage in mindfulness techniques.

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Are you feeling stuck in the restrict-binge-shame cycle?

We work with clients in Seattle, WA and world-wide virtually helping people who are tired of dieting and struggling with their body image. It’s possible to change your relationship with food and your body, free up headspace, and live your life with more presence, abundance and peace. Learn more about Bravespace Nutrition, our philosophy, and the services we offer.